i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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