My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I stole a fireplace last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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