Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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