Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What drink are we having for lunch?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
