so explain again why im purple
no
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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