some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
