oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
