How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
