Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I could fuck to npr.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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