Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
