What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
