meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
