so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
