You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
