how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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