dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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