you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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