Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
