marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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