OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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