I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
