Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
