i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think your dad took our porno
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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