Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
