U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
