So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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