dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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