Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
