ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
