Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Is Oprah even human
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
