No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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