another moral hangover. fuck.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
