Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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