the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
