the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
