Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
