If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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