you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How external is "for external use only"?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
