where am i from again
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
