I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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