I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
third nipple confirmed
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
