love makes seman taste better
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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