Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
