We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
