we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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