those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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