pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
