he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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