somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
