Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just had sex bonerless
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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