are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
